I came to the camp believing all were alive
Experiences of a person who lost family members in the war
මම කඳවුරට ගිහින් හැම කෙනෙක්ම ජීවතුන් අතර සිටියා
පවුලේ සාමාජිකයන් අහිමි වූ පුද්ගලයන්ගේ අත්දැකීම්
எல்லோரும் உயிரோடு இருப்பதாக எண்ணி முகாமுக்கு சென்றேன்
போரில் குடும்பத்தை இழந்தவரின் அனுபவங்கள்
CMP-MN-Md-PV-07
I was born in Trincomalee and educated in Valveddithurai, Jaffna. I lived in Mullaitheevu. From there, I joined the Movement as a driver.
One of my daughters is 3 years old. The other one is 1 ½ years old when her mother died of shell blast. We were displaced from Trincomalee to Mathalan and it was here that my wife got caught in shell blast. She was in hospital for 3 days but medicines were not available. She was transferred to Trincomalee via ICRC. She was in a coma stage and was transferred to Mannar where she passed away. My relations were in Trinco. My wife’s relatives cremated her. Though they could have contacted us, I was not informed. I wasn’t aware of her demise. Anyway, I couldn’t have got a permission to go.
Late after army captured us we were taken to camp. Even after that I didn’t know. My children were put in a Sinhala Children’s Centre at Boralapaththana, as it was assumed their parents were dead.
I came to the camp believing all were alive. As I had worked with the Movement I was taken to a detention camp.
After some days I saw an advertisement in the papers that children assumed to be orphans were in Childcare Centre and if there were any relations, to come and take charge of the children. Only then I got to know my children’s mother had died. I took over the children, put them in the care of their aunt and came to the detention camp. I was there for 2 years. Then I came from the detention camp and took charge of the children via the court. The court ruled the children should be in their aunt’s custody until I am released from the detention camp. Later I filed a case and took charge of the children.
With daughters, I cannot live alone. I had to go for work too. My present wife had lost her husband in a shell blast and was alone. She had a son. I married her.
Apart from this I have no news to tell. Like the others. We were also displaced and were suffered shell blasts. Lacks of people were displaced, some of them died in shell blasts. Who to look after who? Each man had to protect himself. We had come to that stage.
All of us had to be in detention camps. They reckoned we were all ignorant. We had to be reformed and made human. People from Human Rights asked if we knew what a TV is. We were amused. These people assumed we, Vanni people had lived in jungles. We knew everything and had a normal life. I got up and said we had had TVs and computers and had lost everything, but we weren’t ignorant. They got embarrassed.
They taught us skills and that was useful. I have a mason certificate. But I don’t work as a mason as I did other jobs. But the certificates were useful to some others.
Human life is invaluable. When one falls injured and begs for help, those with conscience would sure help. But even the conscientious couldn’t help walking past the injured crying out to be carried or helped. Each man for himself was the only possible thing to do. I was the same. I had walked past people crying out to be saved. When I look back now, it hurts.
One instance, I left my children alone in the bunker and took my injured wife to hospital. There was no space there. Shell attack took place in Mathalan. If there was a patient in a bed the next hour there would be a dead body there, and the next patient would come. It was impossible to keep the children there. My wife was alone; there were no relatives with us. The nurse said she would take care and I left my wife alone. Had I stayed by her side, I would have lost my children. Next day my wife asked, “Why did you leave me alone and go?” my heart gave a jolt. I couldn’t face her. I can’t forget it.
Shell blasts rocked Mathalan, all the people tried to get off the place. A woman had lost her husband. There was an infant in her hands. They shot the baby and threw it in the sea. “I have lost my husband. Please leave me alone”, she let out heart rending cry. Such horrors took place before our eyes. Such memories can’t be erased from our minds till our death. Only those who have experienced this can understand. Others would say, such horrors couldn’t have happened and we are lying. That is why I don’t like to speak about anything.
If such traumatic event are repeated people can’t bear it. We can say such things happened. But next generation should never face such horrors. They should study well and acquire good positions in life.
CMP-MN-Md-PV-07
මම ත්‍රිකුණාමලයේ ඉපදිලා යාපනයේ වැල්වැටිතුරෛයි ඉගෙන ගත්තා. මම හැදුනේ වැඩුනේ මුලතිව්වල. එහෙදී සංවිධානයේ ඩ්‍රයිවර් කෙනෙක් විදියට වැඩකළා.
මගේ එක දුවකට අවුරුදු තුනයි. අනිත් දුවට අවුරුදු එක හමාරක් වෙනකොට අම්මා ෂෙල් වැදිලා නැති වුනා. මුලතිව්වල ඉඳන් අවතැන් වෙලා මාතලන්වලට ගිහින් මාතලන්වල දී තමයි ෂෙල් වැදුනේ. පවුලට ෂෙල් වැදිලා තුවාල වෙලා දවස් තුනක් රෝහලේ තියාගෙන ඉඳලා බෙහෙතුත් නැතිව රතු කුරුසෙන් ත්‍රිකුණාමලයට අරන් ගිහිල්ලා එහෙදි කෝමා එකෙන් ඉඳලා මන්නාරමට අරන් ගිහින් එහෙදී නැති වුනා. මගේ නෑදෑයෝ ඉන්නෙ ත්‍රිකුණාමලයේ. පස්සේ පවුලගෙ නෑදෑයෝ තමයි අවසන් කටයුතු කරලා තියෙන්නේ. ඒගොල්ලෝ දැනගෙනත් මට කිව්වෙ නෑ. එයා මැරුණා මම දන්නේ නැහැ. අපිට යන්න දෙන්නෙත් නැහැනේ.
පස්සේ ආමි එකෙන් ඇවිල්ලා අපිව අල්ලාගත්තට පස්සේ මේ කඳවුරට ගෙනත් දැම්මා. ගෙනත් දැම්මට පස්සෙත් මම දන්නේ නැහැ. ළමයිව අරන් ගිහින් කොරළපතානේ. අම්මා තාත්තා කවුරුවත් නැහැ. හැමෝම මැරිලා කියලා සිංහල කට්ටිය ඉන්න ළමා සුරැකුම් මධ්‍යස්ථානයකට බාරදීලා.
හැමෝම ඉන්නවනේ කියලා විශ්වාසයෙන් තමයි මම කඳවුරට ආවේ. සංවිධානයේ වැඩ කරපු නිසා ටික දවසක් රඳවා ගත්තා.
ටික දවසකට පස්සේ දෙමාපියන් නැති ළමයි මේ මධ්‍යස්ථානයේ ඉන්නවා නෑදෑයෝ ඉන්නවානම් බාරගන්න කියලා පත්තරේ දාලා තිබුනා. එතකොට තමයි දන්නේ අම්මා නැති වෙලා කියලා. ඊට පස්සේ මධ්‍යස්ථානයට ගිහින් ළමයිව බාරගෙන ලොකු අම්මාගේ ගෙදර නවත්තලා මම කඳවුරේ හිටියා. මම කඳවුරේ අවුරුදු දෙකක් හිටියා. කඳවුරෙන් එළියට ඇවිල්ලා උසාවි මාර්ගයෙන් ළමයිව බාරගත්තා.
මම නිදහස්වෙලා එනකම් ළමයිව ලොකු අම්මා ළඟ තියන්න කියලා උසාවි තීන්දුවක් දීලා තිබුනා. පස්සේ නඩුවක් දාලා ළමයිව බාරගත්තා. ගෑනු ළමයි තියාගෙන තනියෙම ඉන්න බැහැ. රස්සාවට යන්නත් ඕන. එතකොට දැන් ඉන්න පවුලගෙ ස්වාමියා ෂෙල් වැදිල මැරිලා. එයා තනියම තමයි හිටියේ. එක පුතෙක් ඉන්නවා. පස්සේ මෙයාව බැන්දා.
ඒ ඇරෙන්න අලුතින් කියන්න දෙයක් නෑ. අනිත් අය වගේම අවතැන් වෙලා ෂෙල් වැදුනා තමයි. ලක්ෂ ගාණක් මිනිස්සු අවතැන් වුන එකයි ෂෙල් වැටෙන එකයි මැරෙණ එකයි කවුරු කාව බලාගන්නද? තමුන් විතරක් බලා‍ගත්තොත් ඇති කියන මට්ටමට ආවා.
කඳවුරේ හැමෝම ඉන්න ඕන කියලා කියනවා තමයි. එ‍්ගොල්ලෝ හිතන්නේ මොකක් ද කියනවා නම් ඒ ගොල්ලන්ට මොකුත් තේරෙන්නේ නෑ. ඒගොල්ලෝ හිතුවා අපේ හිත් හදලා ගන්න ඕන කියලා. මානව හිමිකම් එකේ කට්ටිය ඇවිල්ලා අපෙන් ඇහුවා ටී වී කියන්නේ මොකකද කියලා දන්නවද කියලා. අපිට හිනාගියා. ඒගොල්ලෝ හිතන හැටි. ඒ ගොල්ලන්ට මොකුත් තේරෙන්නේ නෑ. වන්නියේ ඉඳලා ආවා කිව්වම වන්නි කියන්නේ කැලෑවක් කියලා හිතුවා. අපි එහෙ ඉන්නකොට සාමාන්‍ය විදියට ජීවත් වෙලා අපි හැමදේම දන්නවා කියලා මම නැගිටලා කිව්වා. අපි ටී වී, කොම්පියුටර් හැමදේම තියාගෙන ඉඳලා තමයි හැම දෙයක්ම නැතිවෙලා මෙහෙ ආවේ. අපි හැමදෙයක්ම දන්නවා කියලා කිව්වා. එතකොට ඒගොල්ලෝ එහෙම දෙයක් නෑ කියලා ෂේප් වුනා.
වෘත්තීය පුහුණුවක් දුන්නා. ඒක ප්‍රයෝජනවත්. පෙදරේරු සහතිකයක් තියෙනවා. මම වෙන වෙන රස්සාවල් කරන නිසා ඒක කරන්නේ නැහැ. ඒත් ඒක කරන අයට ප්‍රයෝජනවත්. මනුෂ්‍ය ජීවිතයේ වටිනාකම කියන්න බෑ. වැටිල ඉන්නකොට බේරගන්න කියලා කෑ ගහනකොට හෘද සාක්ෂියක් තියෙන ඕන කෙනෙක් උදව් කරනවා. ඒත් හෘද සාක්ෂියක් තියෙන අයටත් මුකුත් කරගන්න බැරි අවස්ථාවක් තමයි උදා වුනේ. මටත් එහෙම වුනා. මාව බේරගන්න. නැගිට්ටවන්න කියනකොට අපිව බේරගන්නේ කොහොමද කියලා හිතෙන තත්ත්වෙක දී එයාලා අතහැරලා තමයි අපිව ආවේ. දැන් ඒක හිතනකොට හරි දුකයි.
උදාහරණයක් හැටියට කිව්වොත් එක දවසක් රෑ ළමයි තනියම බංකරේ. පවුල තුවාල වෙලා ඉස්පිරිතාලෙට ගිහින් දාලා එහෙ ඉඩ නෑ. මාතලන් වල දී ෂෙල් වැදිලා. එක පැයක් හිටපු ඇ‍ඳේ ආයෙ තියෙන්නේ මළමිනියක්. ඒක අයෙන් කරලා ආයෙත් ලෙඩෙක් දානවා. ළමයි ගෙනල්ලා බලා‍ගන්නත් බෑ. වයිෆ් තනියම දාලා ආවේ. ළඟ නෑදෑයොත් නැහැ. එහෙ නර්ස් කීවා අපි බලාගන්නම් කියලා. එහෙ හිටියානම් මෙහෙ ළමයි මැරෙණවා. ඊලඟ දවසේ ගියාම මාව දාලා කොහෙද ගියේ ඇහුවා. පපුව පිච්චිලා ගියා. ඒක මට අමතක කරන්න බැහැ.
මාතලන් වලට හරියට ෂෙල් ගහනවා. ඒ ඔක්කොම මිනිස්සු මේ පැත්තට එන්න පිටත් වුනා. මහත්තයා මැරිච්ච ගෑණියක් අත දරුවත් එක්ක එනකොට ඒ අත දරුවට වෙඩි තියලා මුහුදට විසිකරා. මිනිහත් නෑ අපිව අතහරින්න කියලා එයා කෑ ගැහුවා. මේවගේ ඇස් ඉදිරිපිට සිද්ධවෙච්ච දේවල් කවදාවත් අමතක කරන්න බැහැ. අපි කවද්ද සුසානයට යන්නේ එදා වෙනකම්ම ඒක කවදාවත්ම අමතක වෙන්නේ නැහැ. අත්විඳපු අයට තමයි ඒක තේරෙන්නේ. ඒක දැකපු නැති අය බො‍රු කියනවා. එහෙම දේවල් වෙනවද කියලා අහනවා. ඒ නිසා මොකුත් කියන්න කැමති නැහැ. ආයෙත් මේ වගේ ප්‍රශ්නයක් ආවොත් මිනිස්සු දරාගන්නේ නැහැ. අපේ ඔලුවෙමයි වැටෙන්නේ. තමන්ට මෙහෙම වුනා කියනවා ඇරෙන්න ඒ ළමයින්ට මෙහෙම තත්ත්වයක් එන්න එපා. ළමයි ඉගෙනගෙන හොඳ තැනකට එන්න ඕන.
CMP-MN-Md-PV-07
நான் திருகோணமலையில் பிறந்து யாழ்ப்பாணம் வல்வெட்டித்துறையில் படிச்சன். நான் முல்லைத்தீவில் வாழ்ந்தனான். அங்கேயிருந்து இயக்கத்தில் டிரைவரா வேலை செய்தனான்.
என்ர ஒரு மகளுக்கு 3 வயது, மற்றவக்கு ஒன்றரை வயது இருக்கேக்க தாய் செல்பட்டு இறந்தவ. முல்லைத்தீவில் இருந்து இடம் பெயரந்து மாத்தளனுக்குப் போய் மாத்தளனில் வைத்துதான் செல் விழுந்தது. மனைவிக்கு செல் விழுந்து காயப்பட்டு 3 நாள் ஆஸ்பத்திரியில் இருந்து மருந்தும் இல்ல ICRC மூலம் திருகோணமலைக்கு கொண்டு போய் அங்க கோமா ஸ்டேஐல் இருந்து மன்னாருக்கு கொண்டு போய் அங்க செத்திட்டா. என்ட சொந்தக்காரங்க திருகோணமலையில. பிறகு மனைவிட சொந்தக்காரங்கதான் அடக்கம் செய்திருக்கிறாங்க. அவங்கட தொடர்பு இருந்தும் எனக்குச் சொல்லேல. அவ செத்தது எனக்குத் தெரியாது. எங்கள அனுப்பவும் மாட்டாங்கதானே
பிறகு ஆமி வந்து எங்கள பிடிச்ச பிறகு இங்க முகாமுக்கு ஏத்தினாங்க. ஏத்தினபிறகும் எனக்குத் தெரியாது. பிள்ளைகளைக் கொண்டு போய் பொரளபத்தானயில் தாய் தகப்பன் ஒருவரும் இல்லை எல்லாம் செத்திட்டாங்க என்று சிங்கள மக்கள் இருக்கிற சிறுவர் பராமரிப்பு நிலையததில் ஒப்படைச்சுட்டாங்க.
எல்லாரும் இருக்கிறாங்க என்ற நம்பிக்கையிலதான் நான் முகாமுக்கு வந்தனான். இயக்கத்தில் வேலை செய்தனான் என்றபடியால் தடுப்பிற்கு கொண்டு போனாங்க.
கொஞ்ச நாளுக்கு பிறகு தாய் தகப்பன் இல்லாத பிள்ளைகள் இங்க பராமரிப்பு நிலையத்தில் இருக்கிறாங்க. யாரும் சொந்தக்காரங்க இருந்தா வந்து பாரம் எடுங்க என்று பேப்பரில் விளம்பரம் வந்தது. அதற்குப் பிறகுதான் தெரியும் தாய் செத்திட்டா என்று பிறகு பராமரிப்பு நிலையத்தில் இருந்து பாரமெடுத்து பெரியம்மா வீட்டில் விட்டு விட்டு நான் தடுப்பில் இருந்தன். நான் தடுப்பில் 2 வருடம் இருந்தேன். பிறகு தடுப்பில் இருந்து வந்து கோர்ட் மூலமாக பிள்ளைகளை பாரம் எடுத்தன். நான் தடுப்பில் இருந்து வரும்வரை பெரியம்மா பராமரிப்பில் இருக்கோணும் என்று கோர்ட் தீர்பபளித்திருந்தது. பிறகு வழக்கு போட்டு பிள்ளைகளை பாரம் எடுத்தேன்.
பொம்பிள பிள்ளைகளை வச்சுக் கொண்டு தனியா இருக்க ஏலாது. தொழிலுக்கும் போகோணும். அப்ப இப்ப உள்ள மனைவிட கணவரும் செல் விழுந்து செத்திட்டார். தனியாத்தான் இருந்தவ அவவிற்கு ஒரு பொடியன் இருக்கிறான் பிறகு இவவ கல்யாணம் முடிச்சன்.
மற்றபடி புதிதா சொல்ல சம்பவம் இல்ல. மற்றவர்கள் போல இடம் பெயர்ந்து செல் விழுந்ததுதான். இலட்சக்கணக்கில் சனங்கள் இடம் பெயர்ந்ததும் செல் விழுகிறதும் சாகிறதும் யார் யார கவனிக்கிறது தங்கள தங்கள பாதுகாத்தா சரிதான் என்ற நிலையில் கடைசி நேரம் அந்த கட்டத்திற்கு வந்தாச்சு.
தடுப்பில் எல்லாரும் இருக்க வேண்டும் என்ற ரீதியில் இருந்ததுதான். அவங்கட கணிப்பு என்னன்டா இவங்களுக்கு எதுவுமே தெரியாது. இவர்களை மனிசராக்கி திருத்தி எடுக்கோணும் என்று நினைச்சாங்க. Human Rights ல் இருந்து வந்தவங்க எங்களிட்ட உங்களுக்கு டிவி என்றா என்னெண்டு தெரியுமா என்று கேட்டாங்க எங்களுக்கு சிரிப்பு வந்தது. அவங்கட நினைப்பு, இவங்களுக்கு எதுவுமே தெரியாது. வன்னியில் இருந்து வந்தவங்க. வன்னி என்டா காடு என்று. நாங்க அங்க இருக்கேக்க சாதாரண குடும்ப வாழ்க்கை வாழ்ந்து, சகலதும் தெரியும். அப்ப நான் எழும்பி சொன்னன். நாங்க டிவி, கொம்பியூட்டர் எல்லாம் வச்சிருந்து அத எல்லாம் இழந்திட்டுதான் வந்தனாங்க. எங்களுக்கு சகலதும் தெரியும் என்று. பிறகு அப்படி இல்ல எண்டு சமாளிச்சிட்டாங்க.
புதிதா தொழிற்பயிற்சி தந்தாங்க. அது பிரயோசனமாக இருந்தது. மேசன் செட்டிபிகேட் இருக்குது. நான் வேற வேற தொழில் செய்றதால அத செய்றதில்ல. ஆனா அத பயன்படுத்துறவங்களுக்கு அது பிரயோசனமாக இருந்தது.
மனித உயிர் விலை மதிக்க முடியாதது. விழுந்து கிடக்கேக்க காப்பாத்துங்க என்று சொல்லும்போது மனசாட்டி உள்ளவன் கண்டிப்பா ஏதோ செய்வான். ஆனால் மனசாட்சி உள்ளவனும் எதுவும் செய்ய முடியாத கட்டத்திலதான் இருந்தது. நான் கூட அப்படித்தான் இருந்தன். என்ன காப்பாத்துங்க , தூக்குங்க என்று சொன்ன நேரம் எங்கள நாங்க காப்பாத்திக் கொள்றதா என்ற நிலையில் அவர்கள கடந்துதான் போயிருக்கிறன். இப்ப அத நினைக்கேக்க ஒரு உறுத்தல்.
உதாரணமாக சொன்னா ஒருநாள் இரவு பிள்ளைகள் தனியே பங்கரில என்ட மனைவி காயப்பட்டு ஆஸ்பத்திரியில் கொண்டு விட்டுட்டு அங்க இடமில்ல. மாத்தளனில் செல் விழுந்து ஒரு மணித்தியாலம் ஒரு இடத்தில் பேசண்ட இருந்தால் அடுத்த மணித்தியாலம் அந்த இடத்தில் பொடி பிறகு வேறாள போடுவாங்க. பிள்ளைகளை கொண்டு வந்து வச்சு பராமரிக்க முடியாது. தனியா அவ இருந்தவ. சொந்தக்காரங்களும் பக்கத்தில இல்ல. அங்க நர்ஸ் சொன்னா நாங்க பார்க்கிறம் எண்டு. அங்க நின்றிருந்தா இங்க பிள்ளைகள இழந்திருப்பன். அடுத்த நாள் போகையில என்ன விட்டு எங்க போயிட்டீங்க என்று கேட்டா நெஞ்செல்லாம் பற்றியெரிந்தது. அத எனக்கு மறக்க முடியாது.
மாத்தளனில் சரியான செல்லடி. அவ்வளவு சனமும் இங்கால வாரத்திற்கு வெளிக்கிடுறாங்க. ஒரு மனிசி கணவனை இழந்தவ கைக் குழந்தை அந்த கைக்குழந்தையை சுட்டு ஆற்றில தூக்கி கடலில எறிஞ்சாங்க. கணவனை இழந்தவங்க எங்களை விடுங்க என்று கதறினாங்க. இது போன்ற கண்ணுக்கு முன்னால நடந்த சம்பவங்கள எப்பவும் மறக்க ஏலாது. நாங்க எண்டைக்கு சவக்காலைக்கு போறமோ அன்றுவரை நடந்த சம்பவங்கள மறக்க ஏலாது. அநுபவப்பட்ட ஆட்களுக்குதான் அது தெரியும். அநுபவப்படாதவங்க பொய் சொல்றாங்க இப்படி எல்லாம் நடக்குமா என்று கேட்பாங்க அதனால எதுவும் சொல்றதுக்கு விரும்பிறதில்ல.
இனிமேலும் அப்படி ஒரு பிரச்சனை வந்தா மக்கள் தாங்காது. எங்கட தலைமுறையிலேயே போயிரனும். பிள்ளைகளுக்கு இப்படி நடந்தது என்று சொல்லலாமே தவிர அவர்களுக்கு இப்படி ஒரு நிலைமை வரக்கூடாது. பிள்ளைகள் படிச்சு நல்ல நிலைமைக்கு வரோணும்.
